Surprise party for Jess

I’m lifting my friends’ pictures here because I don’t own my own camera right now.


photo by Beth

This is the first crafty thing I’ve made pretty much all summer, I think. Above, the banner. It’s knitted. 32 triangles. Approximately 16 feet long. I made it for my friend Jess, she had a surprise birthday/camping party this week, which was much fun. Pattern here, except I did it all in garter stitch and sewed it together with bias tape. I thought it was a cool present because she can reuse it for festive occasions.


photo by Beth

Alas, I’m not able to tell of the awesomeness of the party in words. At the moment my brain is weary, my heart is heavy. Things are sour in my life, apart from this group of friends I have made. So, mostly pictures will have to do.


photo by Ren

I love these people. Dairbhre was very bored and wanted to play with the hammer, so Ren gave him some ice to crush. He was quite entertained.


photo by Ren

And I sang my songs around the campfire. (Notice the banner in the background!) My friends are so encouraging, they were singing along. I have awesome fan/friends.

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I love Laura, yes it’s true

I love Laura, yes I do!

And her family too. They invited me over last night for some good food and jamming. I totally thought there would be a lot of people there playing music, but it was mostly just me and her husband Scotty. She sat beside me and insisted that I keep playing, even when I was afraid that I was showing off. It ruled. I totally need that.

Her boys both told me how much they liked my playing and my songs. Man, what an awesome family. Radically unschooled, always. I’ve hung out with Laura, due to some awesome alignment of the stars, like twice a week here lately. We didn’t even plan it a couple of times! Like when she pounced on me at the Down Home.

Laura is an awesome leddy awesome leddy awesome leddy

I’m totally going to write her a whole album’s worth of songs. Cause that’s how much she rocks.

I do need to get back to writing. I have two songs in the works that need to be finished. Freeform prose helps get the brain juices flowing– I have stuff to say, stuff that the rest of humanity needs to hear.

Thanks for being awesome, La! And raising awesome chilluns who are so sweet to me!

myspace

So I’ve signed up for myspace twice and deleted my account within ten minutes. It sort of creeps me out for some reason.

But I thought I’d let you guys know, I’ve finally started a myspace music page with some of my original songs. They are downloadable. It’s from a demo I recorded back in ’05– my voice has changed slightly in the fact that it sounds stronger and more certain. Argh, to be able to do some better recording! This was recorded with the microphone that came with my dad’s computer– but the quality is surprisingly good, though a bit quiet.

Silly intensity

Dairbhre is completely in love with The Jungle Book. We have been watching it at least once a day. It’s the first movie that has made him just bust out laughing. There are certain scenes that consistently make him laugh.

This was one of my favorite movies ever. And I want to thank Dairbhre, publicly, although he’s only 2, for getting the words to “Bare Necessities” in my head. And the other songs too. As Baloo says, “MAN, what a beat!” It’s been just what I needed, to have the excuse to kick back with my kids and watch something silly, and giggle, and sing, “The bare necessities of life will come to you!” I’ve even had the very short little song that Baloo is singing when he first meets Mowgli, “Oh, it’s a dooba-dee-doo, yes it’s a dooba-dee-doo, I mean a doobie doobie doobie doobie dooba-dee-doo!” I’ve been singing that one a lot. My kids love it when I sing the songs going down the road, it’s been really fun and special.

It’s possibly watching this movie over and over that has made me pick up my guitar again. I’m also journaling (with paper and pen)– I feel that this is the time to open up some well-preserved vessels of the past, and face them. I’ve been emotional, but not in a bad way. More of a wistful healing way, forgiving and forgiven. I’m getting past a lot of barriers, a lot of pain and loss.

I have a feeling that this summer will lead to more songwriting. When I’ve played guitar lately, I’ve noticed that some of my compositions sound better to me now– stronger and almost classical. I’m playing with feeling, and it won’t be long before I’m back to where I was a couple of years ago. My voice has gotten stronger with time as well, and I’m really looking forward to spending some quality time on my music.

I realize that the visual arts and craftiness that I’ve been pursuing lately have been diversions from my music. The practice isn’t what seems so daunting; it is this emotional work I must get through in order to play fluidly and from my soul. So I’ve been making toys and things that appear joyful. I suppose, to cheer myself up from feeling like a failure for denying myself the one simple dream of my life: BARD. The word means more to me than a dictionary could ever hold, and I will be deserving of the title one day. I have brushed against it a few times in the past, a few of my songs were perfect emotional statements. I believe that what I was feeling came across to the listener in exactly the way that I intended.

I have a feeling I won’t be doing too much knitting over the summer. I may be doing some visual arts, but even though I’m feeling quite chipper and ready to face anything, it may be a bit more dark than usual.

Who knows, by the end of the summer, I could have my album finished.