Silly intensity

Dairbhre is completely in love with The Jungle Book. We have been watching it at least once a day. It’s the first movie that has made him just bust out laughing. There are certain scenes that consistently make him laugh.

This was one of my favorite movies ever. And I want to thank Dairbhre, publicly, although he’s only 2, for getting the words to “Bare Necessities” in my head. And the other songs too. As Baloo says, “MAN, what a beat!” It’s been just what I needed, to have the excuse to kick back with my kids and watch something silly, and giggle, and sing, “The bare necessities of life will come to you!” I’ve even had the very short little song that Baloo is singing when he first meets Mowgli, “Oh, it’s a dooba-dee-doo, yes it’s a dooba-dee-doo, I mean a doobie doobie doobie doobie dooba-dee-doo!” I’ve been singing that one a lot. My kids love it when I sing the songs going down the road, it’s been really fun and special.

It’s possibly watching this movie over and over that has made me pick up my guitar again. I’m also journaling (with paper and pen)– I feel that this is the time to open up some well-preserved vessels of the past, and face them. I’ve been emotional, but not in a bad way. More of a wistful healing way, forgiving and forgiven. I’m getting past a lot of barriers, a lot of pain and loss.

I have a feeling that this summer will lead to more songwriting. When I’ve played guitar lately, I’ve noticed that some of my compositions sound better to me now– stronger and almost classical. I’m playing with feeling, and it won’t be long before I’m back to where I was a couple of years ago. My voice has gotten stronger with time as well, and I’m really looking forward to spending some quality time on my music.

I realize that the visual arts and craftiness that I’ve been pursuing lately have been diversions from my music. The practice isn’t what seems so daunting; it is this emotional work I must get through in order to play fluidly and from my soul. So I’ve been making toys and things that appear joyful. I suppose, to cheer myself up from feeling like a failure for denying myself the one simple dream of my life: BARD. The word means more to me than a dictionary could ever hold, and I will be deserving of the title one day. I have brushed against it a few times in the past, a few of my songs were perfect emotional statements. I believe that what I was feeling came across to the listener in exactly the way that I intended.

I have a feeling I won’t be doing too much knitting over the summer. I may be doing some visual arts, but even though I’m feeling quite chipper and ready to face anything, it may be a bit more dark than usual.

Who knows, by the end of the summer, I could have my album finished.